I have spoken with a large number of Dominants, submissives, and fetish people who used the following services to meet others in the lifestyle. Alt.com is by far the most popular and allows you to be quite specific regarding what type of person you are searching for. It is FREE, which is the best part.

A few people have complained saying that Alt.com is NOT free......so...to test it out I joined and found that yes, it IS free but you need to earn points for things. Earning points is not that hard to do even if it is a pain in the tush.